Feeling Burned Out? How to Move from Fix-It Mode to Finding Peace as a Christian Woman in Leadership
- Alexandra Kaval
- 5 days ago
- 7 min read
You have been trying so hard.
You're holding it all together for everyone, and you're holding a load that feels quite honestly impossible to continue carrying. You're not sure how much longer you can continue to shoulder this weight, but you feel like if you drop it, no one is going to take it over.
You've been in such a hustle mode and you feel like you don't even know at this point how to slow down—or is that even possible?
It's almost like you can either continue to go full speed ahead or crash and quit.
So how do you go from fix-it mode to finding peace, even in the middle of what might feel like a storm?
Today we're talking about a really important topic—one that quite a lot of people experience, but it doesn't have to be normal.
Burnout.
We're going to talk about what to do when you're in burnout and how to choose a different path forward.
Because I know that redirection is tough. It takes more energy and effort than you might like to admit, and quite frankly, energy you don't feel like you have to give at this point.
So if you are feeling at the end of yourself more days than not, yet you still have so much further that you would like to go— let's talk about what to do.
You're Carrying Something God Never Intended You to Carry
Oftentimes when we are feeling overwhelmed, we are holding onto something that the Lord never intended us to carry.
The good news is that scripture says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Oftentimes, we are living and working for certain expectations that colleagues, peers, or our family have placed on us. Maybe they're not even ours.
Maybe you're running on a hamster wheel, living according to a set of "rules" that aren't even your own.
Maybe you feel like a failure when you can't do it all, or can't do it perfectly.
So... what do you do with all of this? Where do you go from here?
The Foundational Place to Start: Identity
The foundational place to start is identity.
This is honestly the topic that many people don't necessarily spend time on, but is the best place to begin.
One of my favorite resources for learning to embrace your identity in Christ? The Well Watered Woman. It is that kind of book where almost every page is highlighted.
So if you are wrestling with, "What is my identity in Christ? What does it even mean to walk in it?" — this is a great place to start.
Questions to Ask Yourself About Identity
While you are here, I want to ask you a couple of quick questions:
1. What are you allowing to define yourself that is taking God's place or God's definition of your identity?
Because identity is not something that can be taken away from you.
2. What might it look like to embrace your God-given identity?
3. What might it look like to reclaim your God-given identity?
4. If you were to embrace your God-given identity, how would you begin operating differently, even today?
5. What would your decision-making look like if you embraced your God-given identity? How would it begin to shift if you lived according to what God was calling you into, rather than the worldly expectations or the "shoulds"?
Acknowledge the Hard, But Don't Let It Consume You
Ys, it's very important to acknowledge and address the gravity of what you're navigating and the weight that burnout holds.
I know it can feel hard and heavy and like a solution is nowhere near to be found when you're in the middle of the hard.
But, I would encourage you with this: Instead of being consumed and swept into the tidal wave of how hard and heavy the situation is, consider—what would it look like to step outside of it?
Finding Purpose and Perspective in the Pain
I was recently in an unexpected, unanticipated set of difficult circumstances myself, and someone pitched this idea. She said, "You know, well, maybe He placed you in this other space to minister to the people around you."
And that was sort of like a mind explosion, light bulb moment.
And honestly, I was kind of embarrassed that that hadn't crossed my mind. I was just so consumed about how the way things played out wasn't what I had hoped for or expected. It was self-centered, to be quite honest.
And when she brought in that perspective, when I saw the opportunity to love others well, to minister to them even in my pain and disappointment, it eased my own discomfort and it brought purpose and perspective.
And within a week, less than seven days, God was so kind to allow me to speak life, to speak truth, to speak encouragement to other women who were around me and walking through a hard thing too.
Your Turn: Where Can You Minister in the Middle of Hard?
So what is that for you?
Where are you now that maybe you're like, "You know, I wouldn't have picked to be in this place," or, "This is really hard and uncomfortable. I am feeling quite challenged here."
What would it look like to still be in that spot and speak truth, speak hope, speak possibility to the people that are around you?
It will change you and them, and it's so worth it.
The Parking Lot Perspective
Another thing to consider if you are in burnout mode and looking for support and looking for a way out—but to do it in a way that's honoring to God—is something I'm going to call the Parking Lot Perspective.
Yes, I definitely get the need to do it all and do it all well. But, success and excellence come with depth.
So when you're feeling overwhelmed, I'd like to encourage you to consider: What would it look like to prioritize—to bring something specific to the forefront while you parking lot something else for a season?
Maybe you are really excited about a new arm of your business. Maybe you were planning to join a certain group or organization. Maybe you're feeling tired or defeated in a certain arena of life, and you are just so over the hard.
But what if you gave yourself permission to let it go for a minute?
This isn't forever. This is for a season.
And what if you not only set that thing down gently to the side, knowing that He is holding it—He has all things in the palm of His hand—and what if you not only let it go, but let it go without judgment?
What Are You Making It Mean?
There's this phrase: "What are you making it mean?"
Instead of letting your inner mean girl go wild, what if you said, "You know, this is actually in fact one of the most healthy choices that I could make"?
What if you looked at it differently? What if it didn't have to mean something? What if it actually meant that you were moving with wisdom and learning from the hard?
Pick Up What God Is Calling You To
What if you laid several things down in trust and then picked up others with conviction?
I personally thrive off of themes and challenges. So while you're laying things down, what would it look like to go all in on an area that He's already purposed you for? What would it look like to excel and take off in that space?
Burnout is not about doing everything perfectly. That's not our call. That's not who we are. That's who God is.
What would it look like to go after what He is calling you to in a focused and sustainable way?
What Are You Sacrificing That Needs to Be Sanctified?
Next one: What are you sacrificing that perhaps needs to be sanctified?
If you had listened to an earlier episode with my friend Dana Gentry Roach, she wrote a 90-day devotional called Restore, which is phenomenal. You gotta check out this episode—a lot of y'all really loved it.
She said that God's not going to call you to something that requires you to abandon your health or your family.
Whew. Right?
So what are you maybe setting aside that needs to be instead set apart and honored?
Get Creative and Ask the Hard Questions
How can you get creative? If you're working through something and you're like, "Gosh, you know, that sounds like a nice to have," but what if it's really in fact a need to have?
What are some things that you need to change up to make that happen?
What conversations do you need to be having?
Who do you need to share them with?
What kind of support can you call in?
Is X, Y, or Z thing as important as you think it is?
What would it look like to optimize?
Pausing Is Productive
One of my all-time favorite quotes is this: "Pausing is productive."
It really matters. It really adds value.
The years that I pause and reflect and spend time in prayer and look at numbers and data and journal—those are the years personally and professionally that are hands down the most successful.
Ask the hard questions. Call on the support.
Going Deeper: What Coaching Looks Like for Burnout
If I were to coach you in burnout, we go in depth on what exactly is contributing to the burnout.
Sometimes it's difficult to pinpoint what the dysfunction is, especially if it's disguised as something that maybe looks good on the outside but in fact is not bringing life.
Where our attention is, our focus is going to go to, right? What are we setting our eyes on? Is it something that's aligned with our faith, aligned with our values, aligned with our mission?
So we do some of the deep work there. We would consider: Is what you're seeing, what has become normalized to you—is that in fact normal, or what is actually going on here?
We're going to challenge your beliefs. We would most importantly consult and check with God's truth against what's happening and create a vision, a God-given vision, strategy, and then hold you accountable as you work out the plan.
Ready to Get Christ-Centered Strategic Support?
That's what Grace Space Christian Coaching is for — to support you in your walk with God so that you can live out your most intentional and Christ-centered life possible.
And if you are ready to do that and do that with support and excellence, visit https://www.gracespacechristiancoaching.com/book-online to apply for a clarity call.
We'll talk about what it would look like to work one-on-one together and support you in that space.
What resonated most with you from this post? Are you in burnout right now? What's one thing you can parking lot for this season? I'd love to hear in the comments!
If you enjoyed this blog post, head over to our Grace Space Christian Coaching YouTube Channel and podcast to listen to the full "Feeling Burned Out? How to Move from Fix-It Mode to Finding Peace as a Christian Woman" episode!
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