Feeling Not Good Enough? How to Heal from Shame and Find Your Identity in Christ with Chappel Chandler
Your worth was settled at the cross. Here's how to stop striving for it and start living from it.
You've built something. You show up, you lead, you get things done. But underneath it all is a quiet question that never fully goes away: Am I enough? Maybe it sounds like overthinking every post, every decision, every conversation. Maybe it's a past you still feel ashamed of. Maybe it's the exhausting work of managing what everyone else thinks of you.
This week on the podcast, I sat down with Chapple Chandler, host of the Love Letter Faith podcast, lifestyle content creator, wife and mom of three. Chapple knows what it's like to live with eyes on you, and she knows what it's like to question your worth. Her story is a beautiful picture of what happens when God's love moves from something you know in your head to something you believe in your heart.
If you've been carrying insecurity, shame or the pressure to prove yourself, this post will help you root your identity where it belongs: in who God says you are.
1. You Can't Please Everyone (and You Were Never Meant To)
When Chapple left an 11-year career in marketing to build a content creation business from home, she didn't anticipate how vulnerable it would feel. As her audience grew, so did the pressure. Strangers formed opinions about her based on a tiny highlight reel of her life. She overthought everything and struggled with perfectionism.
What she discovered was that her insecurity was keeping her from showing up as herself. Instead of trying to manage everyone's perception, she brought the root of it to the Lord. It took a couple of years, but she got to a place of real peace. Not everyone will understand her, and that's okay, because she knows who she is and whose she is.
Overthinking and perfectionism often feel like diligence, but many times they're fear in disguise. When your worth depends on approval, every opinion becomes a threat.
A coaching question to sit with: God, why am I having these root feelings of insecurity? What am I believing about my worth that isn't true?
2. Shame Doesn't Get the Final Word
Chapple's faith was refined in the hardest season of her life. After a devastating divorce, she spent several years as a single mom questioning what the future would hold. Shame quietly took hold, shaping her decisions and how she saw herself.
The turning point came when Romans 5:8 finally clicked: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Not after we cleaned ourselves up. Not once we were good enough. Jesus took her choices, her regrets and her shame to the cross and declared her free. So why was she still holding on to what He had already paid for?
That shift changed everything. She stopped trying to earn God's love and started receiving it. You weren't chosen because you were good enough. You're enough because He chose you.
A coaching question to sit with: What am I still holding on to that Jesus has already nailed to the cross?
3. Healing Happens in Community, Not Isolation
One of the most powerful ways God reached Chapple was through people. A small group at her church walked through the things that keep us stuck, from shame to depression to anxiety, and the leaders prayed over each woman individually. Hearing someone who had been set free speak life over her was, in Chapple's words, a different kind of freedom.
When we're in shame, our instinct is to hide. We tell ourselves we'll work through it alone, quickly and quietly. I've felt that too. But being surrounded by people who say, "We see you, we accept you and we love you" is one of the clearest pictures of Christ's love we'll ever experience.
A coaching question to sit with: Where am I isolating when God may be inviting me into community?
4. Faithfulness in Your Current Season Is Ministry
For ambitious women, this one can sting a little. You have dreams. God has stirred things in you. And right now, your days might be full of school lunches, laundry and supporting the people closest to you.
Chapple's encouragement is to take the pressure off. Sometimes God has called you to do what's right in front of you. She also named something many high achievers will recognize: it's easy to start serving for the dopamine hit of accomplishment rather than out of love. You don't need a stage, a platform or a book to make an enormous impact. Pouring into your children, your spouse, your friends and your community is real ministry.
1 Corinthians 10:31 reminds us that whatever we do, we can do it all for the glory of God. Scrubbing dishes can be worship. As the saying goes, your mission field is right between your two feet. And if God is stirring new dreams in you, it's okay if they take time. You don't have to do it all right now, and you don't have to do it perfectly.
A coaching question to sit with: What is God asking me to be faithful with today, right where I am?
5. You Are God's Masterpiece
Chapple's message centers on identity. Your identity isn't what the world says about you or what the thoughts in your head say about you. It's who God says you are.
Song of Solomon 4:7 paints a picture of how the Lord sees His beloved: altogether beautiful, without flaw. And Chapple's life verse, Ephesians 2:10, calls us God's masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus to do the good things He planned for us long ago.
A masterpiece takes a lifetime to complete. Every detail, every brushstroke of your story, including the painful seasons, is part of what God is creating. One day you'll look back and see what He had in mind all along.
A coaching question to sit with: What would change in how I lead, rest and show up if I truly believed I am God's masterpiece?
You don't have to earn your worth, outwork your past or win everyone's approval. Christ already settled the question of whether you're enough when He chose you, called you by name and made you His own. When your identity is rooted in His love instead of performance or opinion, insecurity loses its grip, shame loses its voice, and you're free to faithfully live out the good works He planned for you, one season at a time.
Which part of Chapple's story stood out to you most? Share it on Instagram and tag me at @gracespacechristiancoaching. I'd love to hear what God is stirring in you.
If this post encouraged you, share it with a friend who needs to be reminded that she is deeply loved by God.
For weekly encouragement on faith, leadership and growth without burnout, join the email family at gracespacechristiancoaching.com/subscribe.
You can also connect with Chapel through the Love Letter Faith podcast, on Instagram at @chapplechandler and @loveletterfaith, and at chapplechandler.com.
If you enjoyed this blog post, make sure to head over to your favorite podcast platform and listen to the full Not Feeling Good Enough? How to Heal from Shame and Find Your Identity in Christ with Chapple Chandler episode!
Or you can watch the entire Not Feeling Good Enough? How to Heal from Shame and Find Your Identity in Christ with Chappel Chandler episode video on YouTube!
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